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About Me

Rabbi Chaim Coffman
Rabbi Coffman has helped people from all across the spectrum to prepare themselves properly for Orthodox Conversion to Judaism. His students admire his vast knowledge and appreciate his warm, personal attention and endearing sense of humor.
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Welcome to Rabbi Chaim Coffman's Blog!

I would like to thank you for visiting my blog, Beyond Orthodox Conversion to Judaism.

The conversion process can be a lengthy and daunting one to say the least and I want you to know that I am here to help you through it.

I have been teaching newcomers to Judaism for over a decade and over the last few years I have seen that conversion candidates really lack the support and knowledge they need to navigate the conversion process and successfully integrate into the Orthodox Jewish community.

I created my mentorship program in order to help make this whole experience as smooth and as painless as possible! (Can't do much about the growing pains, though ;)

Feel free to get to know me a little through the posts on my blog and visit the mentorship and syllabus page if you are interested in possible joining us.

I sincerely wish you all the best in your search for truth and spiritual growth.

Looking forward to meeting you,
Chaim Coffman

My Rebbe, Rav Moshe Sternbuch

In case you were wondering why I have all of these articles written by Rav Moshe Sternbuch, he is my Rebbe, and one of the gedolei hador (greatest Rabbis of our generation).

Rav Sternbuch fully endorses me and supports my mentorship program.

He is the address for all of my halachic or hashkafic (practical and philosophical) questions that I or my students may have.

The articles are based on his weekly talks on the Torah portion that the Rav gives in Jerusalem in his kollel. As a member of the kollel I get first dibbs on the photocopies and I type them up for my blog so you can all benefit from the Rav's erudition and insight.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013

The 48 Ways to Acquire Torah: Loving Rebuke

The next of the 48 ways to acquire Torah is loving rebuke.Why would someone want to get rebuked, and then actually like it? This will depend on where the rebuke is coming from.

If indeed the person giving rebuke is telling his friend what he is doing wrong because he actually cares for his well being, then the friend will be ever so grateful for the kindness the other one is doing for him. The reason is because his friend is trying to help him change and become a better person.

The problem is that sometimes our ego's get in the way and even if someone is trying to help us, we will be reluctant to accept the help and want to work things out on our own. Not only that, but we may possibly resent the other person for "meddling" into my business. If it is done right, though, this person may indeed be saving the friend's life.

There is a famous story with the Chofetz Chaim that illustrates this point. There was someone in the yeshiva in Radin who smoked on shabbos. Word got back to the Chofetz Chaim and he called to speak to the boy.

The boy came in and the Chofetz Chaim looked at him, grabbed his hand very tightly, began crying and said the word "Shabbos" That was it. From that day on, that boy never smoked again on Shabbos and continued to be a religious Jew the rest of his life.

Rebuke like that which comes straight from the heart will have its affect. Only a mentor who knows his student well must be able to give rebuke in a way that the student can handle it and grow from it. Today, we don't know how to give rebuke and a person has to be very careful if he does give it.

The most important thing to know if one give's another rebuke is to do it out of love and general caring. If it is done that way, then it has a chance of being accepted and acted upon.