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Rabbi Chaim Coffman
Rabbi Coffman has helped people from all across the spectrum to prepare themselves properly for Orthodox Conversion to Judaism. His students admire his vast knowledge and appreciate his warm, personal attention and endearing sense of humor.
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Welcome to Rabbi Chaim Coffman's Blog!

I would like to thank you for visiting my blog, Beyond Orthodox Conversion to Judaism.

The conversion process can be a lengthy and daunting one to say the least and I want you to know that I am here to help you through it.

I have been teaching newcomers to Judaism for over a decade and over the last few years I have seen that conversion candidates really lack the support and knowledge they need to navigate the conversion process and successfully integrate into the Orthodox Jewish community.

I created my mentorship program in order to help make this whole experience as smooth and as painless as possible! (Can't do much about the growing pains, though ;)

Feel free to get to know me a little through the posts on my blog and visit the mentorship and syllabus page if you are interested in possible joining us.

I sincerely wish you all the best in your search for truth and spiritual growth.

Looking forward to meeting you,
Chaim Coffman

My Rebbe, Rav Moshe Sternbuch

In case you were wondering why I have all of these articles written by Rav Moshe Sternbuch, he is my Rebbe, and one of the gedolei hador (greatest Rabbis of our generation).

Rav Sternbuch fully endorses me and supports my mentorship program.

He is the address for all of my halachic or hashkafic (practical and philosophical) questions that I or my students may have.

The articles are based on his weekly talks on the Torah portion that the Rav gives in Jerusalem in his kollel. As a member of the kollel I get first dibbs on the photocopies and I type them up for my blog so you can all benefit from the Rav's erudition and insight.
Thursday, March 3, 2016

Parshas Vayakhel: How to have a happy marriage

"The men came with the women, everyone whose heart motivated him brought bracelets, nose-rings, rings, body ornaments all sorts of gold ornaments every man who who raised up an offering of gold to Hashem" (Exodus 35:22).

Why is it that the women whose hearts desire to bring rings and bracelets and the like must come and donate it with their husbands? Are they not allowed to come themselves and give it? Don't they have their own independence?

The Talmud tells us Bava Kama 119a that we don't accept a great charitable gift from a woman unless she has permission from her husband to give it. This is in fact the reason that the husband had to come with her! It could also be that since the husband enjoys seeing his wife decked out in fine jewelry, it would be forbidden for her to donate them without his consent.

This is an incredible idea if we think about it. The reality is that a woman prides herself on the jewelry that she has and certainly she is looked at in high esteem from her husband who enjoys seeing her wear them. At the same time, she doesn't have the right to just give them away, even for the sake of building the Temple because it may interfere in her marriage in a negative way. Don't husband and wife go out of their way to please each other in any which way to keep the marriage going strong?

There are many issues today that can kill the sizzle of a marriage. One of them is that the longer a person is married, the more things that they take for granted from their spouse. They get into a rut so to speak and a marriage can spiral out of control if it is not worked on. Just like a flower that needs water otherwise it will die, so to a marriage if it is not properly worked on and cultivated will also die!

Every husband and wife have to take time out of their day to just be together and talk and discuss things without the hustle and bustle of running a household. They need to spend quality time and continually work on cultivating the relationship. This takes great work and effort but isn't it worth it to have a blossoming marriage even after many years?

The problem is that live drags us down and is difficult with each passing year. Nonetheless, we have to persevere and remember the important things in our lives and make them a priority. If we don't our families are at serious risk. Like anything else, the more we work at something the more satisfaction we have even if it is hard. We should always look at the good our spouse has done for us instead of focusing on the negative.

We all need to be better and strive to reach higher levels. The most basic level is to treat our spouses with the respect they deserve and that will lead to a healthy, happy marriage.


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