Thursday, February 18, 2016
Parshas Tetzaveh: Be easy to Forgive and don't be Stubborn
10:16 PM | 
Posted by
Rabbi Chaim Coffman |
"Aharon shall bring atonement upon its horns once a year from the blood of the sin-offering of the atonement's once a yeas shall he bring atonement upon it for your generations it is holy of holies to Hashem" (Exodus 30:10)
This is truly amazing that G-d gives us the ability to get atonement once a year for all our transgressions. This day is none other than Yom Kippur and the high priest enters the holy of holies to attain that atonement for us. This works with our transgressions between man and G-d but not our sins between man and man. As the Rambam tells us if one has wronged his friend he has to ask him for forgiveness before Yom Kippur, sincerely mean it, go through Yom Kippur and that is how one gets atonement for those sins. I was recently taken to task on the topic of forgiveness.
As someone quoted a number of sources on forgiveness, they told me "how can you not forgive someone if this is what the Torah demands!" I answered that the Rambam tells us in the laws of repentance that if someone comes to ask for forgiveness and they are sincere and you reject them and they come back a second time to ask for forgiveness and you reject and then come back a third time, this time with others to try and pacify you. If you reject this person that time then they don't have to come back to you and you are the one that now gets the transgression for this intransigence.
With that being said, forgiveness should be given when the person comes to you and admits (in my case there was no admittance to anything done wrong) they have done something wrong, thereby wanting you to pardon them for what they have done. If that is true then yes that person would receive the transgression if they did not accept their apology. After all, don't we want G-d to look the other way for things that we have done during the year? Is there a better way to find grace in G-d's eyes by overlooking what others have done to us?
This is true but not an easy thing to do. Nonetheless we should easily forgive others for what they may have done to us but at the same time, it does not mean we have to be best friends with them. For this to work, we have to get rid of the anger, frustration and all the other emotions inside us for this to happen. If a person has a real difficult time in accepting their forgiveness they should not dismiss them out of hand but tell them you need time so that you will be able to do this with a full heart.
Keep in mind, a halfhearted acceptance is also not good; it has to be done with a full heart! Also easier said than done. G-d knows the thoughts of man and understands that we are human and have a variety of emotions going on all the time. Nonetheless, He never puts us in a situation that we cannot handle (even though we don't think we can) and gives us the opportunity to work on ourselves and help us reach our true potential!
May we merit to always look at the good in others and not let our egos get in the way of our spiritual development!
This is truly amazing that G-d gives us the ability to get atonement once a year for all our transgressions. This day is none other than Yom Kippur and the high priest enters the holy of holies to attain that atonement for us. This works with our transgressions between man and G-d but not our sins between man and man. As the Rambam tells us if one has wronged his friend he has to ask him for forgiveness before Yom Kippur, sincerely mean it, go through Yom Kippur and that is how one gets atonement for those sins. I was recently taken to task on the topic of forgiveness.
As someone quoted a number of sources on forgiveness, they told me "how can you not forgive someone if this is what the Torah demands!" I answered that the Rambam tells us in the laws of repentance that if someone comes to ask for forgiveness and they are sincere and you reject them and they come back a second time to ask for forgiveness and you reject and then come back a third time, this time with others to try and pacify you. If you reject this person that time then they don't have to come back to you and you are the one that now gets the transgression for this intransigence.
With that being said, forgiveness should be given when the person comes to you and admits (in my case there was no admittance to anything done wrong) they have done something wrong, thereby wanting you to pardon them for what they have done. If that is true then yes that person would receive the transgression if they did not accept their apology. After all, don't we want G-d to look the other way for things that we have done during the year? Is there a better way to find grace in G-d's eyes by overlooking what others have done to us?
This is true but not an easy thing to do. Nonetheless we should easily forgive others for what they may have done to us but at the same time, it does not mean we have to be best friends with them. For this to work, we have to get rid of the anger, frustration and all the other emotions inside us for this to happen. If a person has a real difficult time in accepting their forgiveness they should not dismiss them out of hand but tell them you need time so that you will be able to do this with a full heart.
Keep in mind, a halfhearted acceptance is also not good; it has to be done with a full heart! Also easier said than done. G-d knows the thoughts of man and understands that we are human and have a variety of emotions going on all the time. Nonetheless, He never puts us in a situation that we cannot handle (even though we don't think we can) and gives us the opportunity to work on ourselves and help us reach our true potential!
May we merit to always look at the good in others and not let our egos get in the way of our spiritual development!
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