Thursday, July 31, 2014
Parshas Devarim: Know how to give rebuke
10:27 PM | 
Posted by
Rabbi Chaim Coffman |
"These are the words which Moshe spoke to all Yisrael on the other side of the Jordan river in the wilderness over against Suf, between Paran, and Tofel and Lavan, and Hazertot and Di-zahav" (Deuteronomy 1:1)
Rashi explains that Moshe reminds the Jewish people of their sins through a hint and not directly because of the honor of the Jewish people. Rav Moshe Feinstein z"l asks in Derash Moshe that there are also verses that specifically mention their sins like by the spies and in parshas Ekev the sin of the golden calf so why here are the sins only mentioned through a hint while other places they are spelled out clearly?
Rav Moshe explains those sins and punishment that are spoken about in great detail is because the Jewish people have to be reminded of the severity of that particular transgression. This, though was only for the previous generation but by the the present generation that did not do those particular transgressions, there is no need for them to be rebuked for what was done previously.
Therefore, they are mentioned only through a hint since the present generation also needs to be rebuked for the transgressions of the previous generation. The reason for this is because each person has to know that if they see someone else sins, they should not say that this person made a mistake and it could never happen to me because I know that this particular thing is forbidden in the Torah and I would never do it!
This person also has what to fear that he could fall in the same trap as his friend and also transgress unless he uproots those negative character traits that constantly prey upon him! A person should not rely on their knowledge or laurels that they could never find themselves in such a situation but they should increase their Torah study and mussar learning to constantly fight against their desires and temptations.
As long as we are not working and striving for this goal, then we are puppets in the hands of our evil inclination. Another thing that we learn out from here is that if we have the ability to rebuke someone, we should do so through a hint and not with harsh words.
We should also never remind someone of what they have done wrong in the past. This will not help them to correct their ways and change. Giving rebuke is something that has been lost in this generation as we do not know how to do it properly. We need to embrace people with an overflowing amount of love.
There was a person in the yeshiva of Radin who smoked on shabbos and was about to leave. The saintly Chofetz Chaim met with him, grabbed his hand and with burning tears just said the word shabbos. This made such an impression on the boy that because of how the Chofetz Chaim approached him, he did not profane shabbos again.
Although we may not be on the level of the Chofetz Chaim, we can still try and help others with positive reinforcement instead of trying to "help" them with harsh words and rebuke.
Shabbat Shalom
Rashi explains that Moshe reminds the Jewish people of their sins through a hint and not directly because of the honor of the Jewish people. Rav Moshe Feinstein z"l asks in Derash Moshe that there are also verses that specifically mention their sins like by the spies and in parshas Ekev the sin of the golden calf so why here are the sins only mentioned through a hint while other places they are spelled out clearly?
Rav Moshe explains those sins and punishment that are spoken about in great detail is because the Jewish people have to be reminded of the severity of that particular transgression. This, though was only for the previous generation but by the the present generation that did not do those particular transgressions, there is no need for them to be rebuked for what was done previously.
Therefore, they are mentioned only through a hint since the present generation also needs to be rebuked for the transgressions of the previous generation. The reason for this is because each person has to know that if they see someone else sins, they should not say that this person made a mistake and it could never happen to me because I know that this particular thing is forbidden in the Torah and I would never do it!
This person also has what to fear that he could fall in the same trap as his friend and also transgress unless he uproots those negative character traits that constantly prey upon him! A person should not rely on their knowledge or laurels that they could never find themselves in such a situation but they should increase their Torah study and mussar learning to constantly fight against their desires and temptations.
As long as we are not working and striving for this goal, then we are puppets in the hands of our evil inclination. Another thing that we learn out from here is that if we have the ability to rebuke someone, we should do so through a hint and not with harsh words.
We should also never remind someone of what they have done wrong in the past. This will not help them to correct their ways and change. Giving rebuke is something that has been lost in this generation as we do not know how to do it properly. We need to embrace people with an overflowing amount of love.
There was a person in the yeshiva of Radin who smoked on shabbos and was about to leave. The saintly Chofetz Chaim met with him, grabbed his hand and with burning tears just said the word shabbos. This made such an impression on the boy that because of how the Chofetz Chaim approached him, he did not profane shabbos again.
Although we may not be on the level of the Chofetz Chaim, we can still try and help others with positive reinforcement instead of trying to "help" them with harsh words and rebuke.
Shabbat Shalom
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