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Rabbi Chaim Coffman
Rabbi Coffman has helped people from all across the spectrum to prepare themselves properly for Orthodox Conversion to Judaism. His students admire his vast knowledge and appreciate his warm, personal attention and endearing sense of humor.
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Followers

Welcome to Rabbi Chaim Coffman's Blog!

I would like to thank you for visiting my blog, Beyond Orthodox Conversion to Judaism.

The conversion process can be a lengthy and daunting one to say the least and I want you to know that I am here to help you through it.

I have been teaching newcomers to Judaism for over a decade and over the last few years I have seen that conversion candidates really lack the support and knowledge they need to navigate the conversion process and successfully integrate into the Orthodox Jewish community.

I created my mentorship program in order to help make this whole experience as smooth and as painless as possible! (Can't do much about the growing pains, though ;)

Feel free to get to know me a little through the posts on my blog and visit the mentorship and syllabus page if you are interested in possible joining us.

I sincerely wish you all the best in your search for truth and spiritual growth.

Looking forward to meeting you,
Chaim Coffman

My Rebbe, Rav Moshe Sternbuch

In case you were wondering why I have all of these articles written by Rav Moshe Sternbuch, he is my Rebbe, and one of the gedolei hador (greatest Rabbis of our generation).

Rav Sternbuch fully endorses me and supports my mentorship program.

He is the address for all of my halachic or hashkafic (practical and philosophical) questions that I or my students may have.

The articles are based on his weekly talks on the Torah portion that the Rav gives in Jerusalem in his kollel. As a member of the kollel I get first dibbs on the photocopies and I type them up for my blog so you can all benefit from the Rav's erudition and insight.
Thursday, July 11, 2013

Ethics of our Fathers: Chapter 1 Mishna 5: Have an Open House and Watch Out when We Speak to Women

"Rabbi Yosi ben Yochanan of Jerusalem said, 'Let your home be wide open (to strangers), treat the poor as members of your own family, and do not gossip with women. This has been said even with regard to one's own wife, how much more does it apply  to another man's wife. Hence the sages say, 'Whoever gossips with women brings harm to himself for he neglects the study of the Torah and will in the end inherit Gehinnom"

When a person opens his home to strangers, he becomes like our father Avraham and fulfills the mitzvah of having guests. Man's purpose in this world is to be close to G-d and this can be fulfilled by giving from themselves to help others. They give of their time, money and possessions to make the guest feel comfortable as a member of the family.

Man in general is selfish and the way to overcome that is to give, not just through money but even helping out themselves. When we give of ourselves selflessly, we help others and gain from the experience as well.

The next part of the Mishna tells us that a man should not gossip with women, not just women we don't know but even with our wives. Why is this taught here? One reason is because it can certainly lead to immodest behavior and the like. Simply stated, when a man speaks to another man's wife, they have to set up certain boundaries because becoming too friendly could lead to immorality.

This is the reason that men and women should not be friends, per se whether they are married or not. Nothing good ever comes of it and it certainly can lead to bad things. Not only that, but if a husband gossips with his wife and tells her that this happened or that happened it will only cause problems.

Look what happened to Korach! Korach told his wife what Moshe did that the Levi'im brought their offerings and it lead to Korach's ultimate destruction. Another possible explanation is that when a husband gossips to his wife and tells her that his friends made fun of him or embarrassed him, she may believe it and embarrass her husband which will certainly problems between them.

|These conversations will just feed the Yetzer Hara and the man will continue to be part of things that take him away from learning Torah. After all, isn't this more exciting, telling stories and lashon hara about others than sitting down to learn and wanting to bask in G-d's glory?

The lesson we learn from here is how these things can further deteriorate by feeding our Yetzer Hara to the point where it boils over and takes away from learning Torah!

2 comments:

Geny dos santos florentino said...

Rabbi Coffman I loved your blogger, very informative, instructive spiritually

Rabbi Chaim Coffman said...

Thanks so much