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Rabbi Chaim Coffman
Rabbi Coffman has helped people from all across the spectrum to prepare themselves properly for Orthodox Conversion to Judaism. His students admire his vast knowledge and appreciate his warm, personal attention and endearing sense of humor.
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Welcome to Rabbi Chaim Coffman's Blog!

I would like to thank you for visiting my blog, Beyond Orthodox Conversion to Judaism.

The conversion process can be a lengthy and daunting one to say the least and I want you to know that I am here to help you through it.

I have been teaching newcomers to Judaism for over a decade and over the last few years I have seen that conversion candidates really lack the support and knowledge they need to navigate the conversion process and successfully integrate into the Orthodox Jewish community.

I created my mentorship program in order to help make this whole experience as smooth and as painless as possible! (Can't do much about the growing pains, though ;)

Feel free to get to know me a little through the posts on my blog and visit the mentorship and syllabus page if you are interested in possible joining us.

I sincerely wish you all the best in your search for truth and spiritual growth.

Looking forward to meeting you,
Chaim Coffman

My Rebbe, Rav Moshe Sternbuch

In case you were wondering why I have all of these articles written by Rav Moshe Sternbuch, he is my Rebbe, and one of the gedolei hador (greatest Rabbis of our generation).

Rav Sternbuch fully endorses me and supports my mentorship program.

He is the address for all of my halachic or hashkafic (practical and philosophical) questions that I or my students may have.

The articles are based on his weekly talks on the Torah portion that the Rav gives in Jerusalem in his kollel. As a member of the kollel I get first dibbs on the photocopies and I type them up for my blog so you can all benefit from the Rav's erudition and insight.
Thursday, January 9, 2014

Parshas Beshalach: Moshe is not Allowed to Enter the Land of Israel


"It happened when Pharaoh sent out the people that G-d did not lead them by way of the land of the Philistines because it was near, for G-d said 'Perhaps the people will reconsider when they see a war, and they will return to Egypty" (Exodus 13:17)

The Midrash explains that that at this point Moshe Rabbenu cries out. This is explained by the following parable: a person made a match for the daughter of the king. This person saw through the heavenly constellations that  that she would go out from her father's house but would not get to the chuppah (wedding canopy) and he began to cry. They asked him, why are you crying? He said he was crying because I made this match for the daughter of the king and I will not be able to bring her to the groom! So too Moshe Rabbenu screams out and says that he will bring the Jewish people out of Egypt but he won't be able to go with them and enter the land of Israel and that is why it says, 'It happened when Pharaoh sent out the people..'

Rav Moshe Sternbuch Sh'lita in Chochmah V'Da'as asks why does Moshe Rabbenu only scream out now, it is already known in Exodus 6:1 that G-d tells him you will see what I do to Pharaoh. Rashi there explains that Moshe Rabbenu had questions about what G-d was doing whereby G-d tells him that now you will see what I will do to Pharaoh but will not merit to see the destruction of the seven nations in the land of Israel. In fact, Moshe should have screamed out then, why does he wait until now to do so?

Rav Stertnbuch explains that the reason that Moshe is not allowed to enter the land of Israel is because if he were there with the Jewish people, G-d would demand them to live their lives at a very high spiritual level.  If Moshe would enter the land with the Jewish people and they would not keep the commandments as G-d would like, the Jewish people would be in great danger.

This is the reason that the Jewish people wander in the desert for so long and Moshe does not bring them into the Promised land.  Moshe thought that with all the miracles that occurred in Egypt that the Jewish people would attain that level to be able to enter the land of Israel with him leading them.

When Moshe saw that G-d was leading them in a roundabout way, he thought that because they would have to go to war, they would want to turn back and go back to Egypt.  Through this he understood that he would not lead the Jewish people there and he cried out at this point.

This teaches us a tremendous lesson. Although we have merited to have the land of Israel in our hands, nonetheless the Jews living there are expected to live their lives to a higher level since they are living in the palace of the king. If we don't live up to those standards then there can be terrible repercussions in the land and outside as well.

May we merit to always try and live our lives to the fullest full of Torah, mitzvos and good deeds.

Shabbat Shalom

Ethics of our Fathers: Chapter 2 Mishnah 10: The students of Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakkai: How far a Person is willing to Acquire Torah

"Rabban Yochanan ben Zakkai had five pre-eminent disciples, namely: Rabbi Eliezer ben Hyrcanus, Rabbi Yehoshua ben Hananyah, Rabbi Yosi Ha'Kohen, Rabbi Shimon ben Nesanel and Rabbi Elazar ben Arach. He used to sum up their merits: Eliezer ben Hyrcanus is a cemented cistern which loses not a drop (retentive memory), Yehoshua ben Hananyah, fortunate is she that bore him; Yosi HaKohen is most pious; Shimon ben Nesanel is one who fears sin; Elazar ben Arach is like a spring that ever gathers force (creative mind).

This Mishna teaches us the great character traits of the five students of Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakkai. The first praise is for Eliezer ben Hyrcanus who never forgot anything he learned. Just like a cistern after you have cemented it loses no water, so too did he not forget anything.

Some people are gifted with a good memory and can recall things at an instant. Others work hard on remembering things and constantly review things so they don't forget. What is so special about not forgetting anything that one has learned?

There is so much to learn, is such a thing possible? After all, there are thousands of pages of Talmud, Midrashim, commentaries on the Torah...it is unbelievable that one could remember so much. The reason that this is possible is because one constantly reviews and reviews so what they know is like second nature. This shows the importance of one's learning and what one has the opportunity to acquire through diligence and hard work.

The next part of the Mishna tells us about Yehoshua ben Hananyah whose mother was fortunate that she bore him. What exactly is this teaching us? Rabbenu Yona explains that the word 'Ashrei' (happy) here includes many different character traits. One character trait that it includes is fear; i.e. the fear of G-d.

This is a good character trait to possess because that makes the person aware of what his responsibility is in the world. Our lives are not ownerless and there is much to do with regards to good deeds and working on our connection to G-d. Fear of G-d will lead a person in the right direction to keep them away from transgression.

Ashrei also refers to the one who has a fixed place where he learns. This is important because when a person has a regular place to learn, he shows the importance of learning. Not only that, it demonstrates a conviction and continuity to do that in a specific place at a certain time.

It can also include the character traits of emunah (belief in G-d) and closeness to G-d. Both things help a person in their quest to be close to Him and try and emulate His ways. These character traits all combined help make a complete person whose sole desire is to serve G-d.

The next part of the Mishna speaks about the pious Yosi HaKohen. How did he become so righteous? In all actions he went beyond the letter of the law. In other words, whatever he did, he went beyond what he was obligated to do. This lead others to want to become close to him and his influence was felt from afar.

The next part of the Mishna discusses Shimon ben Nesanel who demonstrated the character trait of fear of heaven. He would essentially make fences for himself around the Torah so he would not transgress any of the mitzvos. This fear of punishment led him to concentrate his efforts to make sure at any cost that he would do G-d's will without fail. One must be careful though that if one lives their life in such a way they won't get the enjoyment of keeping the mitzvos as well.

Fear of heaven is a great character trait to have but living with it can cause other stress if not utilized properly. We do the mitzvos because we are commanded to do them and if not, we will be punished. At the same time, G-d is not interested in zapping us every time we do something wrong but He truly wants  us to enjoy what we do. We need a healthy balance of both to succeed.

The last part of the Mishna discusses Elazar ben Aracha as a spring that ever goes forth. This means that he used him mind as much as possible delving deeply into the sea of learning Torah and coming up with novel Torah thoughts. This takes great concentration and dedication. A person easily distracted will not have the power to accomplish this.

This is important because it teaches a person to constantly think out what the Torah tells and how it relates to our lives. It sharpens our minds as well and shows the depth and broadness of Torah.


Thursday, January 2, 2014

Parshas Bo: Don't Let G-d take away our ability to do Teshuvah

"And you may relate in the ears of your son, and of your son's son, what things I have done in Egypt, and my signs which I have done among them, that you may know that I am G-d" (Exodus 10:2)

Rashi explains that this means that G-d has been playing and mocking Pharaoh throughout all the plagues that He brought upon Egypt. Rav Moshe Sternbuch in Chochmah V'Da'as explains that throughout all the plagues that occurred outside of nature to the Egyptians, Pharaoh still refused to let the Jewish people leave even at the expense of the damage it caused to his decimated country.

He could have rid himself of the Jewish people very easily and that would have saved the people of his country undo suffering. He was so stubborn and refused to let them go preventing this evil person from doing teshuvah.

The Rambam explains in the Laws of Repentance Chapter 6 Halacha 3 that 'it is possible that a person could sin a great sin or many sins until he will have to pay in some way for the transgressions that he has done. Sometimes if they have done them with their own will and knowledge they will be prevented from repenting so that they will continue their evil ways until they die'.

This is why the Torah speaks over hear and tells us that G-d hardened Pharaoh's heart since he sinned from the outset by enslaving the Jewish people and making their lives bitter. G-d then prevented him from repenting thereby being able to exact punishment for his terrible actions. Rav Sternbuch then asks that if G-d hardened his heart, why did He then send Moshe to tell him that he should repent knowing that he would not let the Jewish people leave?

The reason is because G-d wanted to show to the world that at the time He prevents someone from repenting, there is nothing anyone can do to fight it! So G-d mocked Pharaoh by sending all the plagues and strengthening Pharaoh's stubbornness! This teaches us an important lesson.

If we ourselves do not repent on the transgressions that we do sometimes we will be judged by G-d's character trait of strict justice which will prevent us from being remorseful for our bad actions and not allow us to repent. This is what is needed for us to tell our children and their children's children! If we ourselves are stubborn and refuse to change, then sometimes G-d will allow us to continue on that path and take that ability away from us.

This is a very scary idea. We have to be very careful that if we do transgress that we should repent from the bottom of our hearts. We don't want to live our lives like blind people and have that great ability to repent taken away from us. May we do G-d's bidding and even if we fail at some level, we need to pick ourselves up, admit our mistakes and become better people before that opportunity is taken away from us.

Shabbat Shalom

Pirke Avos: Chapter 2 Mishna 9: The Purpose of Creatiom

Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakkai received the oral tradition from Hillel and Shamai. He used to say, 'If you have learned much Torah, do not claim credit for it because you were created for this purpose'"

The first part of Rabbi Yochanan's statement is indeed interesting. If a person dedicates their life to a Torah lifestyle, that should obviously imply that they have been learning many Torah concepts that they have integrated into their lives. Rabbenu Yona explains that this means that the Torah is so wide and so vast that a person cannot even fathom its true depth.

This is because man is a finite creature while the Torah is everlasting throughout all generations. Even if we toil and learn it, there is so much to further learn that it is impossible to reach its true deepness. After all, even after all the learning and living by its laws, isn't that what the purpose of life is? So why would a person think they are so special, this is in fact what they were created to do!

Rabbenu Yonah uses a parable to further explain his point. If a person had a debt that needed to be repaid and repaid it, is that person going to think they are so wonderful that they just did this great act? They were obligated to pay it back, how can they themselves think this is such a selfless act that turns them into such a great person?

This is exactly what the Mishna is telling us. The more Torah we learn, the more we grow, the more we learn all of its intricacies, isn't this what G-d wants from us from the beginning? Rashi tells us at the beginning of the book of Genesis that one of the reasons that G-d created the world was for the sake of the Torah!

G-d wanted to bring the Torah down to this world so that it would change mankind and fulfill His purpose in creating it! G-d gave us the ability to tap into this world which allows us to be close to Him. This is the purpose of creation and my purpose in life.

If this premise is indeed true, is a person not just fulfilling what G-d wants from us? Can we really say that we are such great individuals from this? We have to realize that this is our purpose in the world and this is what transforms us to become the great people that we can.
Thursday, December 26, 2013

Parshas Vaera: Educating our Children: They don't grow up by themselves

"And Amram took him Yocheved his father's sister as a wife and she gave birth to Aharon and Moshe and the years of the life of Amram were one hundred and thirty-seven years" (Exodus 6:20).

Rav Moshe Feinstein z"l in Derash Moshe asks why does the Torah not mention the names of Moshe's father and mother until it was known that he would redeem the Jewish people and take them out of Egypt?
The reason Rav Moshe explains is that one should not overly praise their son even if he has tremendous ability to succeed in spiritual endeavors.

This means that even if after he was born and filled the entire house with light, nonetheless a person shouldn't say 'since my son does all these good things, I don't have to look after him with his education, he will learn it all anyway!' This is a mistake that may people make that when seeing their children go in the right direction with regards to Torah and mitzvos, they think that they will continue on their path easily without having to continually educate them!

Just the opposite is true. The greater the person becomes in learning and Torah observance, the more the evil inclination wants to snare him and stop them from reaching high spiritual goals. The evil inclination would want nothing more to see this genius fail and not reach their full potential!

Therefore it is incumbent on the parents to educate them even more, keeping this strong connection insuring that the child continues to go in the right direction. At the same time, prayer always helps that G-d should give us the ability to help our kids grow spiritually as much as possible.

There is the story with the Steipler Gaon, Rav Yisrael Yaakov Kanievsky z"l who would pray three times a day that his son Chaim would go in the path of the Torah and mitzvos. This was well after Rav Chaim was a great Torah scholar himself!

Yes we should learn with our children and instill in them the ability to succeed. Even if they are going in the right path and doing the right thing, it does not exempt the parents from continuing to educate them. The evil inclination is very strong and has many ways to get people to make mistakes and veer off the right track.

Parents today are at a tremendous disadvantage trying to fight the onslaught of secular society. We pray that our children continue in the path of their forefathers to strive in Torah and to love Torah. This is certainly not an easy task today but with G-d's help, every Jewish child gets what they need to be worthy servants of G-d!

Shabbat Shalom

Ethics of our Fathers: Chapter 2 Mishna 8: Doing the Right Things has Benefits

"He used to say, 'the more flesh the more worms (in the grave); the more property the more anxiety; the more wives the more witchcraft; the more female servants the more lewdness; the more male servants the more thievery; but the more Torah study the more life; the more schooling, the more wisdom; the more counsel the more understanding; the more righteousness, the more peace. One who has acquired a good name, has acquired it for himself; one who has acquired for himself Torah has acquired for himself the life of the world to come'"

The beginning of the Mishna teaches us that a person should not indulge one's self in the vanities of this world especially when it comes to food. A person should eat so that they can strengthen themselves to be better able to serve G-d.

The other issue that the more one eats the more embarrassed one will be after they die. The reason is because it will cause more worms to eat their flesh (appetizing) which is like having a needle dig into one's flesh. Even if we are destined to die and be eaten by worms, we should minimize what the worms will eat which will help not to cause our soul intense suffering.

The next part of the Mishna tells us that wealth does not bring us any rest. The reason is that the more  property and things that one acquires in this world will cause a person more worry of how they are going to be able to hold on to them and sustain them.

Although money and wealth can certainly make one's life easier, it nonetheless causes them a lot of stress as well. How many wealthy people are there that are not paranoid about money?

The next part of the Mishna explains that even though one has more wives or female servants or slaves, the offshoots of their potential bad actions is reflected on the owner of them. This means that even if a person has many wives and servants and they themselves do terrible things, it is as if the master had done these things himself.

Rabbenu Yonah explains that the master had the opportunity to prevent this and make sure these things don't happen. Since he does not do so properly, it is as if he himself has done the action!

The next part of the Mishna that when a person increases Torah he increases life corresponds to the beginning of the Mishna,  Rabbenu Yonah explains. When a person eats a lot it certainly can shorten a persons life while learning Torah extends life in the next world.

Having lots of property and wealth can shorten a persons life while worrying about Torah thoughts and how to properly keep halacha actually extends his life. The reason is that even if someone is worried about how to perform a specific action in conjunction with halacha, a person on such a level, no harm will befall him for that.

Just the opposite. The more he learns Torah and delves into the intricacies of it will only grow spiritually and raise himself to higher levels and aspirations. This will be a benefit to him and his family as well.

The next part of the Mishna tells us that the more wisdom one has the more understanding they have. This means that when they learn and give over information to their students, they sharpen the ideas of the teacher making his lessons even more potent.

Even if a person has a lot of knowledge, it becomes even greater by the questions of their students. The more they ask the more they make their rebbe stronger!

The next part of the Mishna tells us that the more charity one gives the more peace he brings to the world. This means that when one is able to help another regarding financial matters, that person gets the benefit of the help and loves the person for what he has given him.

This combined with other good deeds that the person does earns him a good name. Others will want to be close to him and will want to be their friend. This helps promote peace and love among people!
Friday, December 20, 2013

Parshas Shemos: Beware of the Influences around us

"Now there arose a new king over Egypt who did not know Yosef" (Exodus 1:8)

The Gemara in Sotah 11a brings a difference of opinion of whether this was a new king or it was the same king but he made new decrees. If we say that this king made new decrees it seems that even before that there were decrees and now there were new ones.

Rav Moshe Sternbuch Shlita in Chochmah V'Da'as explains that at the beginning, Pharaoh wanted the Jews to integrate into Egyptian culture and not to live in a different place within the country and have their own laws.. He wanted them to be just like the Egyptians in the sense that they would dress the same, go to their schools..

When Pharaoh saw that they would not change their names, language or their clothes he made new decrees. They would not have the same freedoms as regular Egyptians. Not only that, but if they did not want to be like everyone else, they would suffer the consequences!!

This happens over and over in all generations. The non-Jews nations in Europe wanted the Jews to be separate in their ghetto and not to mix with the non-Jews because they were not considered equals in society. In essence they could not be part of that society nor were they welcomed either.

Afterwards when the non-Jews nullified the ghetto and gave the Jews freedoms like everyone else and it did not take long before the Jews were "regulars" in society which caused much assimilation and intermarriage. As the saying goes, the more the Jew becomes more like the non-Jew, the more he loses his identity and his closeness to his priceless.

This same idea is applicable as well to the situation in the state of Israel. The Satmar Rebbe z"l was afraid that the non-religious in Israel would make decrees against the chareidim (ultra-orthodox) there. The Chazon Ish (Rav Avraham Yeshay Karelitz) z"l answered the Satmar Rebbe by telling him that he was not worried about the bad decrees that the non-religious would make against the chareidim but rather he was worried about the "candies" the non-religious would give them which would cause more problems.

The Chazon Ish was worried that the more contact we have and befriend them, then the more they could have influence over us. This shows how much we have to be aware of the influence of our non-Jewish society and guard ourselves as best as possible against it.

Shabbat Shalom