tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8618294978083421108.post2634742622297057117..comments2022-04-03T14:45:51.739-07:00Comments on Beyond Orthodox Conversion to Judaism: Community Issues and Fitting InRabbi Chaim Coffmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16522758685792857868noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8618294978083421108.post-91969271708519085112010-01-28T10:33:26.105-08:002010-01-28T10:33:26.105-08:00Anonymous said...
What about people who give ...Anonymous said...<br /><br /> What about people who give advice, for instance someone wants to learn and they are in their 40's or 50's maybe 60's, the advice is "someone who is up in age must continue to provide financially and let your children marry someone who wants to learn, or the son go learn" Basically it is his place to just go work and provide for the family and go learn in a Yeshiva setting.<br /><br />Rabbi Coffman responds: First of all, we have to be careful who makes the comment and what they mean.<br /><br />This is an interesting topic and a great question. Who is obligated to learn Torah? Men have an obligation to learn Torah and women are exempt from any time-bound commandment. If she does any mitzvah that is dependent on time, she definitely gets merit for it.<br /><br />This does not mean a woman should not learn Torah. There are plenty of things that she herself has to know. A woman has an obligation to learn those halachos well that pertain to her. She has to know about the laws of kashrus, shabbos, family purity laws...brochos, Yom Tov...but she doesn't have the same obligation to learn when she is not busy with her family as a man does.<br /><br />She has different commitments and therefore has different obligations. <br /><br />A man has an obligation to learn and study all day long. The problem is, how will he provide for his family if he does that?<br /><br />It is permissible for a man to work to provide for his family. When he is done with work, his obligation to learn starts unless he has other things to do that will exempt him.<br /><br />With that said, let's understand how the Orthodox system within Judaism works. Boys learn for longer hours and prepare themselves for their bar mitzvah when they are 13. <br /><br />After 13, they go to Yeshiva Ketana until about 15 and then on to Yeshivah Gedolah until marriage. <br /><br />After marriage, usually, the man learns full time for a number of years and then eventually goes out to work.<br /><br />As previously mentioned, once work is over, then there is the obligation to learn and it is the wife's job, no matter how hard her day was, to send her husband out to go learn.<br /><br />There is no age bracket here ie until what age you have to learn...The first Mishna in Peah starts out by saying: "These are the things for which no limit is proscribed...but the study of the Torah excels them all". <br /><br />If Torah excels them all, how can someone make the statement that Torah learning is only for younger people and not for all ages.<br /><br />We are not talking about someone learning all day and not providing for his family. If his wife is willing and one can work half a day and learn half a day, shouldn't that be what we want for our husbands if possible?Rabbi Chaim Coffmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16522758685792857868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8618294978083421108.post-65542661683072412382010-01-27T13:14:42.269-08:002010-01-27T13:14:42.269-08:00What about people who give advice, for instance so...What about people who give advice, for instance someone wants to learn and they are in their 40's or 50's maybe 60's, the advice is "someone who is up in age must continue to provide financially and let your children marry someone who wants to learn, or the son go learn" Basically it is his place to just go work and provide for the family and go learn in a Yeshiva setting.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8618294978083421108.post-20531655025427284272010-01-27T10:30:24.215-08:002010-01-27T10:30:24.215-08:00Converts have to understand that they will always ...Converts have to understand that they will always be looked at with suspicion until they convert, wanting to see if they are genuine are not.<br /><br />After the conversion is over converts should be treated like anyone else. Converts have to know that they have to be made aware of how hard the process is.<br /><br />After all is said and done, once the rabbi knows that the convert is serious, they will go out of their way to help.<br /><br />It doesn't mean everyone will but they should. A convert must be determined no matter what the obstacles are.<br /><br />Sometimes it is a test to see the resolve of the convert and how "much they can handle". <br /><br />Hashem is a partner in the process but the c0nvert has to have the perseverance to continue. <br /><br />Not many finish the process for those that start but regardless of what obstacles are thrown at a person, they have to have the courage to continue and have a good mentor that can help them through the processRabbi Chaim Coffmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16522758685792857868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8618294978083421108.post-49610467103132492842010-01-26T13:49:27.263-08:002010-01-26T13:49:27.263-08:00It was difficult to find a community, it took a wh...It was difficult to find a community, it took a while to talk to the Rabbis around here. I understand what you are saying, however there are those that go beyond "leery about converts" Some are down right mean and can make it extrememly difficult. I said once to a Rabbi without being direspectful, "If Hashem has led me to want to convert, why are you trying to interfere with His will". <br /><br />Fitting in is hard, especially when one Rabbi is supportive and the another is not.<br /><br />We are human too.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com